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12.06.2020

Joe Biden
It sure took awhile 

But you made it just in time

God Lord what a mess 

Donald Trump
Bankrupt steak salesman 

Grifter of men, false prophet

Knows not what he does 

7.05.2013

Barack Obama
Offered "change we need" 

Fickle nation, inert Congress

Why does he bother? 

7.10.2005

George W. Bush
"Resolve ... um ... Resolve"
Never wavers from the script
A thoughtless mantra

7.03.2005

Abraham Lincoln
The rail splitter knew
That hard work ennobles us
And restores our souls

5.12.2005

John Adams
You did not shake hands
Instead you would chose to bow
Uppity bastard

12.15.2004

George Washington
What kind of fool stands
in a boat on the river?
A real landlubber

11.09.2004

George W. Bush
Did what dad couldn’t
He captured Saddam Hussein
And reelection

10.19.2004

William McKinley
Second time around
Campaigned from his own front porch
And won sitting down

10.08.2004

Bill Clinton
Loves everybody
Except Kenneth Starr, that is
In his life story

8.16.2004

Andrew Jackson
White House open house
Please help yourself to some cheese
“Let the people rule”

7.19.2004

Warren G. Harding
Conceived a daughter
On my Senate office desk
Please don't tell my wife

6.14.2004

Woodrow Wilson
Do I like Wilson
Because he had a vision?
Or just those glasses?

5.25.2004

Harry S Truman
Faked his eye exam
Signed up for combat duty
No time for chickens

5.10.2004

Millard Fillmore
Forgotten Millard
You will rock the mutton chops
And precede Pierce

4.23.2004

Gerald Ford
Named Leslie Lynch King
You changed your name to Gerald
Then fell off a plane

2.28.2004

George W. Bush
"Nuk-u-lar weapons"
Missing from dictionaries
Just like from Iraq

12.01.2003

John F. Kennedy
Oswald, the patsy
The pro-Castro pigeons cry
"Coup, coup," and fly low

11.07.2003

Bill Clinton
Trust was hard to find
Our collective conscience burned
Sir -- Please go away!

10.28.2003

George W. Bush
Has difficulty
Making speeches. Good advice?
Get Hooked on Phonics

9.13.2003

Jimmy Carter
Angered us when he
Spoke to our better angels
Now the Nobel prize

9.11.2003

George W. Bush
Got the war he wanted
Peace is the trickiest part
U.N. gets last laugh

9.03.2003

James K. Polk
Dark horse candidate
Napoleon of the stump
Pride of Tennessee

8.22.2003

George Washington
As good as his word
Freed his slaves in his Last Will
And so it was done

7.03.2003

Abraham Lincoln
Manic depressive
Dark moods and brilliant vision
His curse, our blessing

5.15.2003

James K. Polk
Our Constitution
shields our minorities from
our majority

3.04.2003

Theodore Roosevelt
Lincoln taught us well
Government belongs to us
It is you and me

2.10.2003

Richard Nixon
Our tragic Caesar?
Beware a Saturday night
Or Richard the Third?

1.15.2003

Zachary Taylor
Rests in Louisville
Dig him up, see how he died
Could it be poison?

10.10.2002

George H.W. Bush
Liberate Kuwait
But finish the job at hand?
Not gonna do it

9.25.2002

John Adams
Obsessed with old Tom
Even to his dying breath
"Jefferson still lives"

9.20.2002

George W. Bush
There is much danger
Iraq must heed this call ... What?
It will? (What now, Dick?)

9.11.2002

Abraham Lincoln
Grief, but not despair
They will not have died in vain
We must not fail them

9.05.2002

Jimmy Carter
Grade school, late-night vote
Woke up and asked Mom who'd won
"Jimmy Carter" -- Glad

8.15.2002

Millard Fillmore
A ducky first name
A footnote in history
A punchline for us

8.01.2002

George Washington
Could not tell a lie
City of crooks bears his name
Have we let him down?

7.22.2002

Chester A. Arthur
Political hack
But the office makes the man
Found sense of duty

7.17.2002

Rutherford B. Hayes
Stole the election
From poor Samuel Tilden
Florida footnote

7.04.2002

Abraham Lincoln
More awkward than most
He wasn't much for parties
But boy could he talk

7.02.2002

George W. Bush
We cannot be blamed
We cannot know where they'll strike
So let's hit them first!

6.27.2002

Ronald Reagan
Russians love Satan
Ketchup is a vegetable
Trees are poisonous

6.18.2002

Ulysses S. Grant
Strong on civil rights
Because he won it in war
His better angel

6.11.2002

Herbert Hoover
Archie Bunker’s man
Everybody pulled his weight
Old LaSalle ran great

6.06.2002

Jimmy Carter
Putin mediates
India and Pakistan
Learned it from Carter

6.05.2002

Ronald Reagan
"There you go again!"
He replied in the debates
So, he laughed and won

5.24.2002

George W. Bush
I really don’t care
What former presidents think
Isn’t that right, Dad?

5.23.2002

John Quincy Adams
I sure did not care
What other presidents thought
Might have listened, though

5.09.2002

Lyndon B. Johnson
New book cuts deeply
A brutish lout who did good
and then failed bigtime

5.03.2002

Bill Clinton
His own TV show?
Acts better than Travolta
Ought to be a hit

4.25.2002

George W. Bush
Bush posed on Earth Day
Ignoring critic Al Gore
He dreamt of black gold

4.13.2002

Thomas Jefferson
Nice looking movie
And Paris was lots of fun
But Nick Nolte? Ouch!

4.04.2002

James Buchanan
Our system applies
The judgment of the people
To cure all evils

3.29.2002

George W. Bush
His conscience made him
Sign campaign finance reform
Into binding law

3.25.2002

Martin Van Buren
Wore out the carpet
In front of his looking glass
But not so handsome

3.20.2002

Andrew Johnson
No book learnin' here
You want a fight? You'll get one
First to be impeached

3.18.2002

Martin Van Buren
Handpicked by Jackson
Sought to increase slavery
No public support

3.04.2002

Abraham Lincoln
First Lincoln bedroom
A hit with Abe and Mary
It brought them four sons

2.19.2002

George Washington
Thirty three counties
Seven peaks, nine colleges
The most famous name

2.12.2002

Abraham Lincoln
Broadest sympathy
Tender of heart, strong of nerve
And boundless patience

2.11.2002

George W. Bush
Church every Sunday
Good husband and super dad
Kenny Boy's best friend

2.08.2002

Bill Clinton
Pardon us, sir, but
You loiter in the limelight
Your show is over

2.01.2002

John Tyler
Aren't we productive!
I served long before Lincoln
My grandson still lives

1.24.2002

George Washington
Far too few of us
Have the virture to withstand
The highest bidder

1.21.2002

George H. W. Bush
Told the Marsh Arabs
"Fight Saddam Hussein - we'll help"
Then abandoned them

1.18.2002

Thomas Jefferson
Inspiring words
But poor example in life
Let's get over it

1.15.2002

George W. Bush
Deer in the headlights
Ate wrong food and then passed out
Pretzel bin Laden

1.13.2002

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Mama's little boy
Wanted to be Teddy's son
In the end he was

1.10.2002

Harry S Truman
Wore thick eyeglasses.
Memorized the eye-chart test
Served in World War I

12.23.2001

Woodrow Wilson
Joined military
With business to win a war
Founded "the complex"

12.21.2001

George Washington
Valley Forge in snow
The General deep in prayer
A timeless image

12.17.2001

Warren G. Harding
We want to get more
business in our government
and not vice versa

11.28.2001

William Howard Taft
What could he have thought,
That poor water buffalo
Who bore Taft's burden?

11.24.2001

Calvin Coolidge
Our basic purpose
Is to create wealth within
Our economy

11.20.2001

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Economic laws
Must never be mistaken
For laws of nature

11.14.2001

Lyndon B. Johnson
"We can't win this thing,"
He told Truman on the phone
"I'm sick with worry''

11.11.2001

Martin Van Buren
No apologies
First full-time politician
Founded "the machine"

11.07.2001

Harry S. Truman
Don't be so gloomy
The Cold War was not your fault
Get over yourself

11.04.2001

Benjamin Harrison
Alas just four years
Cheese in the Cleveland sandwich
Built a mighty barn

11.01.2001

George W. Bush
He cut our taxes
Now we need the money back
We're fighting a war

10.30.2001

James Madison
Shortest and smallest
Wore nothing else but black suits
Very serious

10.18.2001

George W. Bush
Citizens unite!
The enemy is at hand
Terror must not win

9.18.2001

Andrew Jackson
Mad dogs and bullies
Do not listen to reason
Finish what you start

9.17.2001

Theodore Roosevelt
Speak courteously
Deal fairly with everyone
Be armed and ready

9.14.2001

Courage
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.''
Eleanor Roosevelt

9.13.2001

Franklin Roosevelt
Amid great crisis
Gave us strength to face our fear
The real enemy

9.12.2001

Woodrow Wilson
America is
The one idealist nation
In the world we know

9.05.2001

Richard Nixon
After long exile
Died a statesman, but then
Got Oliver Stoned

8.24.2001

George W. Bush
Yellow Rose justice
It blooms in Terre Haute, too
Death does not smell sweet

8.22.2001

George Washington
Wore a powdered wig
That winter in Valley Forge
It kept his head warm

8.08.2001

William Henry Harrison
Only sixty days
His inauguration speech
was almost as long

8.01.2001

John Tyler
Took a seat in the
Confederate Congress and
soon died a traitor

7.26.2001

Abraham Lincoln
Malice toward none
To bind up the nation's wounds
Just and lasting peace

7.19.2001

John Quincy Adams
His clothes stolen while
swimming in the Potomac
Signaled a rough term

7.12.2001

James Madison
We apply power
by government, but hold it
in our hands, he said

7.05.2001

Richard Nixon
One of the smartest
But what a cynic he was
Wasted potential

7.02.2001

George W. Bush
Traveled to Europe
"We need Star Wars,'' he told them
Nein! Nei! Non! they said

6.22.2001

John Adams
Long misunderstood
but brilliant, writes McCullough
Greater than we know

6.14.2001

Thomas Jefferson
To Lewis and Clark:
Manifest destiny, boys
Don't forget to write

6.12.2001

Herbert Hoover
"Who else but Hoover?"
Best-qualified for the job
Failed, but since redeemed

6.05.2001

Chester A. Arthur
Political hack
Pushed civil service reforms
Found sense of duty

5.31.2001

William H. Taft
Fat man stuck in tub
Same man stuck as president
Loved the Supreme Court

5.22.2001

Gerald R. Ford
Pardoned Nixon and
Put his career on the line
Would rather do right

5.18.2001

George W. Bush
Where is my pillow?
Cheney says time for my nap
Dream a Lone Star dream

5.16.2001

Woodrow Wilson
Wanted peace, got war
"We need a League of Nations!"
Edith, I'm so cold ...

5.15.2001

William H. Taft
President and judge
Liked the Supreme Court better
Good organizer

5.10.2001

Theodore Roosevelt
Ocean to ocean
Teddy Bear dug a big ditch
Across Panama

5.08.2001

Franklin D. Roosevelt
He drew confidence
and great strength out of his wheels
but hid them from us

4.30.2001

George H.W. Bush
Read my lips, he said
No new taxes, no quotas
Damn that vision thing!

4.26.2001

Thomas Jefferson
Nation's architect
Designed religious freedom
And Monticello

4.19.2001

Gerald R. Ford
Hail to the victors
A Michigan grad takes charge
Don't fumble the ball

4.17.2001

Jimmy Carter
Oval Office's
Naval Academy grad
Ship of state on reef

4.13.2001

Rutherford B. Hayes
Lemonade Lucy
No liquor in the White House
His wife ran that ship

4.06.2001

James Garfield
He had a neat trick
Could write Latin with one hand
Greek with the other

4.02.2001

Thomas Jefferson
Gentleman Farmer
Preferred planting to commerce
Damn that Hamilton

3.27.2001

Theodore Roosevelt
Had his turn at wheel
Retirement? Bah! One more time!
A Bull Moose bully

3.21.2001

Abraham Lincoln
Emancipation
This Civil War bores me so!
Let's go see a play

3.15.2001

John F. Kennedy
Brothers Kennedy
Assasination victims
Irish luck ran out

3.13.2001

George Washington
Our nation’s father
Resisted power, went home
Could have been a king

3.07.2001

Richard Nixon
Tomorrow, twelve noon,
I effectively resign
As your president

3.01.2001

Zachary Taylor
Old Rough and Ready
Not much of a fashion plate
Died in the White House

2.26.2001

William Henry Harrison
Old Tippecanoe
Log cabins and hard cider
Slick campaigns begin

2.22.2001

Bill Clinton
Lovable hound dog
He'd fetch and do lots of tricks
Then go soil himself

2.19.2001

Presidents Day
Washington to Bush
Sometimes wheat, but mostly chaff
Hey, where's the mailman?

2.13.2001

Franklin Pierce
Wife writes to dead kids
Fistfights on floor of Congress
And "Bloody Kansas"

2.09.2001

Ronald Reagan
Once advocated
Trickle-down economics
Dutch trickles down now

2.06.2001

James Buchanan
How did I get here?
Lincoln can have the White House
I hate this damned job

2.02.2001

Ulysses S. Grant
Brave Ulysses Grant
Hero of the Civil War
Have a drink on me

1.29.2001

Calvin Coolidge
Calvin! Wake Up! "What?"
You're President now! "All right..."
"...Wake me in four years..."

1.26.2001

James K. Polk
Here comes a dark horse
Settling the northwest frontier
Oh Sarah, the Gold Rush

1.25.2001

Andrew Jackson
Beloved war hero
White House salute in cheddar
His cheese was our cheese

1.22.2001

Woodrow Wilson
Stubborn idealist
Conceived a League of Nations
Could not make it work

1.19.2001

Gerald R. Ford
Took Agnew's veep spot
Nixon left White House to him
Squeaky sought to harm

1.17.2001

James Madison
Target of "short" jokes
Constitution's architect
Five-foot-four giant

1.15.2001

Bill Clinton
Goodbye man from Hope
Does the good outweigh the bad?
Only time will tell

1.12.2001

John F. Kennedy
Ride, JFK, ride
Trace the path of Camelot
Onward to Dallas

1.09.2001

Benjamin Harrison
Skillful orator
Had respect of his party
Trustworthy Hoosier

1.05.2001

Lyndon B. Johnson
Found a ballot box
Just in time to turn the tide
Whatever it takes

1.02.2001

Theodore Roosevelt
Our first world-leader
Conservation champion
Bully trust-buster

12.29.2000

Zachary Taylor
Old Rough and Ready
He wasn't much for grooming
Could not stand the heat

12.27.2000

Ronald Reagan
His eyes blank, staring
The great communicator
Now locked inside

12.26.2000

Calvin Coolidge
U.S. status quo
Time for our afternoon tea
Go wake up Calvin

12.20.2000

Andrew Jackson
Most willful leader
Held our nation together
Kept slaves, killed natives

12.15.2000

Ulysses S. Grant
Bold in war, not peace.
Was compared to Washington
Expecting too much?

12.13.2000

George W. Bush
Inherits the throne
Thanks to Supreme providence
And some dude named Chad

12.11.2000

Richard Nixon
Pour me a Rob-Roy
And turn off the tape machine
I hereby resign

12.08.2000

James K. Polk
Last Jacksonian
Backed Manifest Destiny
Died shortly after

12.07.2000

William McKinley
Listen, McKinley
Beware a trip to New York
Better stay in bed

12.05.2000

Dwight D. Eisenhower
Low inflation rates
Brought us suburbs and highways
We really liked Ike

12.04.2000

Martin Van Buren
Bastard son of Burr?
Old Kinderhook, yours was marred
Banks failed, food riots

12.01.2000

John Adams
"Commitment!" he said
What is the point, otherwise?
Our freedom is earned

11.30.2000

Jimmy Carter
We gave up on him
He still serves humanity
Keeps his faith in us

11.29.2000

George Washington
The nation's father
I say to my children now
"Can't you just behave?"

11.27.2000

Thomas Jefferson
This founding father
Preached independence for us
What about Sally?

11.24.2000

Abraham Lincoln
Stand on principle
But never sit with your back
Exposed to the door

11.22.2000

Grover Cleveland
A White House marriage
Two non-consecutive terms
I love you, Frances

11.20.2000

Benjamin Harrison
In the Gilded Age
Another Ohioan
Chief Executive

11.16.2000

Andrew Johnson
Trial in the Senate
By the slimmest of margins
Remained president

11.14.2000

Zachary Taylor
War was not this bad
Long July ceremony
Have some cherries, Zach

11.13.2000

Harry S Truman
Folks said "Give 'em Hell"
So he did; dropped the A-Bomb
And MacArthur, too

11.10.2000

Rutherford B. Hayes
Thought Tilden prevailed
Some electoral mayhem
My goodness! I won?

11.09.2000

James Monroe
The Monroe Doctrine
Europe, mind your own affairs
It's our hemisphere

11.08.2000

Election Special
Bush and Gore's big night
Florida called and recalled
The winner? Who knows?

11.07.2000

Ronald Reagan
Genial actor
He delivered platitudes
From TelePrompters

11.06.2000

Lyndon B. Johnson
Big man in trouble
Build a great society
Sadness on the ranch

11.02.2000

Theodore Roosevelt
Speech in Milwaukee
Shot! But kept right on talking
Bull Moose? No kidding!

10.31.2000

Millard Fillmore
Old Millard Fillmore
Alienate north and south
The Great Compromise

10.30.2000

Andrew Jackson
New Orleans battle
After Ghent Treaty was signed
No CNN then

10.26.2000

John Quincy Adams
Quincy knew up close
That "era of good feelings"
Was not aptly named

10.25.2000

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Polio or not
I am gonna plant my foot
Square on Hitler's ass

10.24.2000

Woodrow Wilson
The French loved Woodrow
But he's no Jerry Lewis
Makes Gore look relaxed

10.23.2000

William McKinley
Eyes turned to the world
No friend of the anarchist
Third victim of rage

10.22.2000

Dwight D. Eisenhower
Hero of the war
You're not so dumb as they say
More unknown than known

10.20.2000

James Madison
Tumultuous years
Man of peace, drawn into war
An end without gain

10.18.2000

Abraham Lincoln
Tickets to the play?
Wear your Kevlar stove-pipe hat
Or else try to duck

10.13.2000

George H.W. Bush
Bush: Lone Star transplant
Kicker of Iraqi ass
Don’t mess with Poppy

10.12.2000

Herbert Hoover
Civil engineer
A chicken in every pot
Depressing results

10.11.2000

James K. Polk
Polk to Canada:
“Fifty-four forty or fight”
Oregon is ours

10.10.2000

Chester A. Arthur
The Gentleman Boss
Never ran for president
Right place at right time

10.09.2000

Richard Nixon
Stepping off the plane
In Red China I felt odd
Smiling down at Mao

10.06.2000

Warren G. Harding
Sweet fancy Moses!
Worst of presidents ever
What were we thinking?

10.05.2000

Martin Van Buren
Martin Van Buren.
Son of Aaron Burr, maybe?
We will never know.

10.04.2000

Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton from Hope
A rock and roll president
A hopeless husband

10.03.2000

Franklin Pierce
Behold Franklin Pierce
The missus hated D.C.
One term was enough

10.02.2000

James Garfield
The late James Garfield
Served our country four short months
Does that really count?

9.29.2000

William Howard Taft
When was I the Chief?
A walrus in the White House
That bastard Wilson

9.28.2000

John Tyler
Father of fifteen
Did you annex Texas to
Make room for the kids?

9.27.2000

John F. Kennedy
Top down, Kennedy.
No chance of rain in Dallas.
Goodbye, Camelot.

9.26.2000

James Buchanan
A leader, alone
You long for a woman's touch
O bachelor gent!

9.22.2000

Jimmy Carter
Hey, Peanut Farmer
You want to be president?
Build houses later.

9.21.2000

Thomas Jefferson
Testy Jefferson:
Kill that Hamilton bastard!
Or just maim him good

9.20.2000

Gerald R. Ford
Poor Gerald R. Ford
You fell from a tarmacced plane
Fodder for wisecracks

9.19.2000

Ulysses S. Grant
Hero of the War
Radical Reconstruction
Friend of the Old Guard

9.18.2000

John Adams
Adams? Who was he?
Second president? Really?
You sure about that?

9.15.2000

William Henry Harrison
Mr. Harrison
Don't forget your hat; it's cold.
Soon you will be dead.

9.14.2000

Calvin Coolidge
Silent Calvin C
High collars are becoming
On your box-shaped head

9.13.2000

Grover Cleveland
Grover Cleveland, eh?
You were not the fattest one
But you were tubby

9.12.2000

George Washington
Our first president
Your soul tempered in battle
No one else could serve